It isnt an easy feat to let go of someone who has given me so much memories to remember..

To be exact, it's been more than two months since our breakup and I have yet accepted the fact that it's already over between us. I kept drifting back and trying so hard to find internal peace; tried to keep myself so occupied in order to filter you out of my world.. but no, it's still not working, and it keeps me wondering if it's because all along you've been at the back of my head but fearing that i will get hurt, I stop reminiscing those happy memories of us..

I dont know why, but even though I was with you only for a short time frame, it felt as though we were already happily wedded, that we've known each other more than any other. Do you still remember how hard you've fought for me at the beginning? Everything still seems so vivid and surreal, but this bubble never fails to burst whenever i tune myself back to reality again.

It's so hard to move on.. that i feel that there's really no way I can ever see myself with any other guys again. You're always surrounded by girls.. and this insecurity is driving me crazy. I really cant picture myself losing you and be all alone forever if you get into a new relationship. As much as I try to stay strong, the vulnerability within me is constantly being triggered. Probably you have no idea how much this hurts, because the one being left alone is the most pathetic.

To be frank, Im at the pit of my life.. no money, no you, no stable career. Ups and downs are part and parcels of life.. Certainly I know how life works, but experiencing this is a totally different thing.

And belief.. What's belief when my faith was robbed, leaving me with nothing but heartache. It isnt easy to nurse a broken heart when there's really no one I can rant my unhappiness to.

All i need is just someone to wake me up, to pull me out of misery. I dont wanna feel stranded anymore.

I need you. I really need you.