I'm not trying to seek empathy here.

Sometimes, I admit I am ridiculous. I picked on trivial matters to start a fight, unintentionally. At the end of the day, the atmosphere get too tensed that none of us wish to talk or look into each other's eyes, much more about holding hands and etc. Yes, it's me. I admit everything started because of me. Because I dont understand, because i dont know why, and because i'm not in the least better at controlling my emotions that's manipulating my mind.

But there's one thing that upsets and affects me rather much..
that you are someone whom i love, someone whom i trust, someone whom i talk to more than anyone else everyday..
someone who mean this much to me,
dont really understand me.

I dont, too. Realized this after a yr with you.
Is that how it works in all the relationships?
i dont know. i dont wish to know.
and it gets more upsetting each time i think of this.