once and for all.

i hope there wont be any regrets this time because its my heart now that says i should give up on you, no longer the mind that reigns my feelings. i hope i can sustain to this torment for myself, for i know it'll do us good. as for him, yes, i'll treat him good and u need not worry that i'll hurt him with my words anymore. since you are such a scary cat, i dont see a reason why i still want to put in efforts to keep this ambiguity ongoing. i thought this was all worthwhile but you defiantly proved my thoughts wrong. perhaps you regretted what you've told me the other day, because i've been pestering you with questions that you dont wish to be probed on. i did the both of us good this time, though you're still in the dark on what i did to let you go.

without me, you will be more eased, i believed. i wish you can find someone better, and not allowing me to know in case i turned depressed again. the sun can never be with the moon; and the moon can be with the sun. however still, the moon needs the sun for its rays to shine for its shape silently. and yes, you're the sun while i'm the moon. a part of me still needs your support silently, but i know its never possible to go back to you. i thank you for this dream because it has been made beautiful because of your existence. however, a dream still has its limitations and i woke up, finally, because it has slowly turned into a nightmare if i continue to allow this dream to go along its way. i'll remember this dream-your existence, and the memories we have these days. friends told me that i was being manipulated by your words, but i didnt mind. naive as i can get, perhaps they're right, but i didnt want to accept that fact.

i still believe that your words are the most comforting ones i hear, even though sometimes they make no sense to me. i might regret just tomorrow for this impulsive decision made, but there wont be a chance for me to turn back time and retrieve what i've said in MSN anymore. anyway, i know we dont belong to the same world. im aware that we both are getting sick in this mind game. i know you'll still be well and good without me, so take care, my friend.

and i marked today, the 9th of may, the end of this ambiguity, the end of our ambiguous status. i shall not remember what you gave me on 20th may 2008, the question we both forced each other to ask on 22nd may 2008 anymore. it's been a pleasant dream. a swift beautiful dream. love is blind & u really proved me that.

i'll see you in school after june holidays. till then, i hope we'll be able to face each other, smile and tease each other with stupid jokes. goodbye.