i used to be very keen in signing in to MSN at night as i'll get to talk to that special someone, but not anymore. every night, i'll ask myself whether i should delete him in MSN because everytime i sign in, the first thing i'll do is see if he is online or not. needless to say, disappointment sums up what im feeling every night. he haven't been onlined for quite some time already, and it's been a month or so. maybe he did sign in to MSN, just that he blocked me and i didnt get to see him online. frankly speaking, it hurts badly to know that someone blocked you in MSN, esp the one that u love. i mean, perhaps im not waiting for him anymore, i dunch love him as much as the past, but i guessed the feeling is still present. now, what i wish for is to be a friend of his, that simple. however, that simple wish seems to be totally out of question. hais. i was working just now, and a scene of him and that girl flashed through my mind for split seconds, then my heart was telling me, "he didnt want to contact you probably because he has got her. u noe, he is the devoted kind, he wont do anything unfaithful, even like msging you."

that certainly was a sharp, hard knock on the bell and without fail, my mood got affected by the wild imagination of mine. i mean, most of the time, it's me. i had enough of waiting, but i cant help myself getting away from misery. never mind, a better day would always arrive when a new day starts. i always believe that. (: