today was my worse day ever as i broke down umpteen times. before reaching school, as i was listening to songs, some tears brimmed in my eyes again. the feeling was sucky due to the fact that i didnt have a good sleep and it's early in the morning yet im tearing away. what a "nice morning greet" to start off with the day.

i got back one of the test results. sort of reflected alot of things on myself..
i've been wondering what i've been doing. i've been thinking why i got such a bad result. i've been asking myself whether it is worth mourning over losing him and end up losing the drive to study which resulted to such bad grades. many things flashed through my mind at the instant when i saw my results. i tried to suppress the feeling, but suppressing makes it worse. it's been embarrassing today, as for the very first time in my poly life, i cried infront of my friends. mark my words, it wasnt just a cry; i had a hard one. i let out everything, the things im keeping to myself as well as my grades. however, i still have to thank jialing for her hugs and support and thanks evelyn zhu rou for what u've said. and thanks chiew, minyi and fengxian too. silly and dumb, i msged him to tell him about my grades and was hoping to see some words of comfort from him. however, i didnt. not a single word he typed was comforting.

actually, i have to thank god too. i thank god for waking me up and coming around that it's time to let go and buck up in studies! he really isnt worth my tears. feelings for him start to fade due to the fact that he didnt even try to care. i thought it'll be great and i'll be more comforted if he replies me with even just a "dunch be sad, sister". but well, its just a wishful thinking of mine. i didnt receive such things at all and this wis when i realised, it's not worth it to cry over him anymore. all i wan is to study well. i dunch wan him anymore. i dunch need a guy, i dunch! soon, i'll regain my smiles back and everyone will see me in my smiley face again(: