back to blogging. i dunch have anyth to do in particular right now. bored. minyi and the rest pursuaded mi to go out with them for some shopping, however, i jus cant get myself into the mood. hais. what's wrong with mi man? do i wanna be like this for the rest of my life? no going out, coping myself at home, and running away from everyone? hais.

told kelly an excuse tt i am sick. well, i really am. i'm feeling a lil'l unwell. and tt's good. tt's wat i wan. i wanna be sick, so tt i can have a LONG rest. i always think tt ppl who want themselves to be sick are crazy, but come to think of it, maybe being sick isnt a bad thing either. no doubt falling sick can be torturous, but look, if i fall sick, i can rest, and stay at home, and run away from others. and most importantly, i can rest like nobody's business. MUAHAHAHHA. i think im crazy or sth, or maybe sth's wrong with my phycologically thinking. hah. but, this is wat i wan. i wanna be sick, so i can rest, and wont be haunted by the hooros of reality, the tiredness its giving mi, the letharigic feeling of life anymore.

im like coughing and sick, yet i jus cant get myself to eschew from those food i love to eat. and worse still, i even ate chilli which i shdnt touch at all. i ate chocolates, ice creams, chillis, fried food, cold drinks and not a single medicication for my cough. hah. i wanna be sick, so even if i dunch wan myself to eat those food, i'll still choose to stuff them down. tt's mi, for now. hais.

alright, i missed him, but, seems like i can live without him. these few days, i've been home early, and once i came home, i'll make myself sleep so tt i can shut myself from reality. everyday it's like this. imagine how no life i am, but this is wat i wan. i wanna be alone, i jus wanna run away. hais. i jus hate october, when this month used to be my favourite month out of the whole year. hais. im jus a piece of shit.