have u ever experienced the feeling of being betrayed when, u choose to believe someone u love and buy it's story rather than others' story and the truth turn out to be otherwise? have u ever tried being bluffed by someone u trusted so deeply more than just once? or have u ever tried before that u will automatically trust the person u love no matter what the outside world says, but turn out that the outside world is right? have u? well, i do.

maybe i trust tt person too easily liao bahhs, and it's not totally my fault. this is what ty told mi ytd when i was extremely upset, when i told him it's everyth is my fault bahhs. and lucky tt he was there to talk mi round tt made my tears run dry. everytime i had my tears rolling in my eyes, he was there. really thank him. someone who truly has a kind heart, ty, god, pls bless him.=)

i really was terribly upset. duno y. maybe i really trusted the person too deeply liao, and the truth turns out to be rather dissapointing to mii bahhs. initially i did blame tt person. but think think think, i think i'm at fault. everyth is my fault. maybe i made the wrong judgement bahhs. and i think i really did. well, why must i blame tt person anyway? it's my judgement, my belief, my own thinking. tt person did nth to hypnothise mii. i choose to trust, and it is where my fault lies. well, i really felt cheated, hurt, bluffed more than just once and felt extremely betrayed. betrayal=bei pan. i wanted to hear tt song so badly ytd tt i tried asking ard. but not a single one has it. i've given up hope and wan offline le, and den ty replied online tt h don't have tt song too. duno y he knows tt i'm sad, and start probing. he said i've changed, from the jiahui he knows during work, who was once so cheerful, and now this jiahui has turn out to be always sad and miserable. haiis. i duno. mayb the person i trust has it's reasons? and those reasons cannot be explained? and also not obliged to explain to mii too? ya? so y shd i blame tt person? haiis. but i got really hurt. serious. those tears haven been rolling for quite some while lerrs until ytd, they started again. haiis.

today i saw the person whom i made the wrong judgement. haiis. din wanna went to tt person to say hi. din wanna reply tt person when i saw tt person's msg in my phone, din wanna do anyth. i totally had bland feeling. no hatred, no love, no nth. not even the feeling of anything, tt's the most scariest part. a total complete stranger bahhs, tt kind of feeling. dunch noe how long this feeling of strangeness will last, but i just wana say one thing, i really got very hurt, VERY!

maybe i need time to ease that pain. this is what i told myself.