hmmm. he left spore 9pm today. he tried to text mi after training and he text whether he can call mi or not, cuz he said he suddenly got the urge to hear my kiddish voice. den he called lorrs. hmmm, we chatted on the phone in the bus. after finish chatting, he texted mi and said that he'd miss mi.. i din really replied tt sentence. i knew i'll miss him a lil'l bit but if i tell him bout this, i'm afriad tt i might give him false hope again. cuz i'm still unsure of my feelings.. it's better tt i dun tell him, if not he might get hurt. ya. ii realised tt it's quite interesting chatting wit him on the phone[haven been feeling like this cuz most of the times i find him a lil'l annoying?] i'm not sure.. i felt wierd without him texting mi and disturbing mi. does it mean i still hold some feelings for him..? i ain't sure bout this and won't bother to find out too. cuz i find tt LOVE is a thing which u cant really uds and sometimes ii find it tiring too. ya. maybe i've been hurt too many many times before. what to do? i dun even noe how to save myself from misery.. i dun believe in FOREVER LOVE at all. those are craps to mi. one day this love will fade and one person of the couple will tell the other innocent party tt they wanna break and tt's the end of their ''EVERLASTING RELATIONSHIP"? haha! hais.. tiring, wishy-washy and.. hais. hurt.

after training ii went to eat wit saunling. she said tt i'm a bitch cuz once yu left spore, i start msging his good friend. hey tt's not the case ok? ha. it's he's friend (ah fu) who started texting mi first. he text tt whether there's a problem with mi and yu. cuz he told mi that yu went to take a look at his msges. ya. and told mi tt yu has been giving him attitude ever since he saw those msges i sent ah fu previously in his phone. hmmm, ah fu was sick too when i was sick, so i tried to tell him to drink more water? ya. haiyo.. i was just trying to care for a friend and yu misunderstood? anyway, i and yu wasn't having any problems. maybe he was angry wit ah fu and not mi? hais. this is the second time i've caused another crack in their friendship. the first time was even more serious than this. i'm a bitch rite? nod. i think i really am.

oh ya. suan also said tt i'm getting on her nerves lately. cuz i'm dumb and "gong". hey i din wan it too, alright? hais. i noe this weakness in mi has been causing alot of problems to mi. can u believe tt i still dunch noe how to walk to far-east? ok, i admit tt i've been a sheep following others. but.. i noe i have my faults for not having to open my eyes and memorise the directions, but.. i just hope my friends will be more patient to mi ya? cuz ppl, i noe i nit more time den others to know the way.. ya.

*To my friends.. i'm really sorry for being such a dumb-arse. and thanks for leading the way to the places we wanna go. i'm really sorry to have caused so much inconvienence to u all, be it things like always asking u all for directions.. i'm sorry, really.. i'll work hard in recognising the way, i promise..

den erm.. training was alright today, except for the running and the jumping exercises we had to do. ya. den today we did 10 sets of 10 of inclined pull-up. hees. my biceps are firm now, and there's really muscles popping up when i flexed my arms. ya. hees. den we'll be having a dragonboat gathering tml for lunch at raffles place-sth sth cafe one. hah. hope tt it'll be fun tml. hees.