After all these while, it finally dawned on me that it hurts to hold on to this when everything is not worth it. Probably it's good that you're treating me cold. A couple can never be friends after breaking up. Nope it can't be done, because obviously there's nothing more to talk now. Still, I feel silly to ask you out which I had never done so to any other guys in the past.. Felt so indignant that I'm doing this, seeping myself in the soil of misery. I sink further and further till I finally know that it's time to get up from my grave and grab something before I meet my doom. Like right now, I feel that I'm already in the midst of losing myself while trying so hard to get what I want. I've always been suppressing this dark side of me because I know it certainly isn't a trait that I wanna show. Tsk. And yes I shall stop being a retard trying to chase someone when the heart is no longer with me. Pointless, that is. I see new goals in my life; I know I wanna live for the better; I know misery will not be a parasite sucking all my happiness away if I choose to let loose, to let go of this used-to fond memories. Hurts, not quite anymore. Probably I need this kind of treatment before I realise how stupid I had been.

I will embrace solitaire. And when this day arrives before me, I know it will be the time where I won't wanna care who you are with, what you are doing, whether you are sick or what not anymore. You'll be just someone that I used to know.