I appreciate how my friends encourage me to move on.. how they are willing to meet me and be there for me when i need them. I cant help it. It's not that I want to be all emotional again. Look what my life has become now. Hanging nowhere.. Stuck in between the past and trying so hard to move on.. Ridiculous. No matter how much I tell myself I need to move on, how much I should stop getting trapped in the past, how much I need to brace up, I just cant fucking do it! It's not that I didnt try.. I really made the effort to do it. Kept all the photos.. all the stuff that reminds me of us.. All beyond my vision may capture.. Fuck I just hate my life. Loser? Yea Im totally a loser. I've never been so down in my life before. How can I let go of my last bit of feelings for you? It's this last bit of feelings that made me all so upset all the time. 9 working days more in the company. If only these days can be shortened for a week.

You stop caring for me. You told me that you're equally upset but it seemed like you're doing great. Im glad that I made the right choice, but you know.. I also wish that my last bit of feelings for you to be diminished too, so no one holds on to anything anymore. I dont wanna be trapped, be haunted by the memories both day and night. I hate it when the emptiness haunt me when I get up in the morning. I hate it when I have to go to sleep thinking of you. I fucking hate this shit. Can someone just rob this last bit of feelings from me?!

I feel like a walking zombie. Everyday leading the life of a facade. It's all the memories that haunt me. Fuck life. SIGH. When can I lead a solitary life without having to think of the past anymore?