nothing really lasts forever, does it? my heart aches a little when i read the entries i've posted three mths ago. it's just three mths and my feelings are that faint now that no matter how much you try, it's all too late. didnt you say you were mentally prepared for the worse? why arent you replying to my messages now? why are you running away from it? i know it hurts badly as much as i felt it. im really lost and idk what i shd do. all the things you've done for me are recurring in my mind and yes, they are the reasons why i dont want to give up yet, but i know it's selfish to be treating you this way, giving you cold shoulders, getting annoyed and throwing tantrums at you for the slightest thing. I know you wont be able to take it but im doing it. maybe i'll only know how much love exists if we were to spend some time living with our own lives perhaps when you leave, that's when i'll know how much you stand within me.
i used to be so afraid of losing you, but i guessed it's no longer applicable now. if anyone up there were to tell me how i shd go abt handling this, i believed i wont be stuck in this situation anymore.