We havent been seeing each other since sch terms starts and i thought that it's a good thing because the grudge i bear still exist a little. I loved you, but i hated you more. That sentence you said is deeply etched in my mind. Though my heart does not feel anything for you in our present state, and perhaps being a friend would be a better alternative than what we are now, i still do not wish to break the ice.

Naive is the only word to describe me. I thought it would be possible that i wont see you for this sem, or even for the rest of my life. But, BOOMS! You came into the lab today and it just felt so awkward having known that you are around while i'm monitoring the fat analyser. I dont know why i would be so bothered by your presence, why i should feel that awkward and why my heart panicked that much when i know i shouldnt in the least bit be. I wasnt really discussing stuff with my mates because i know i blabbered irrelevant things to cover up how panicky i am within. My mind was not functioning when that moment strike. I had to remain composed.

I put on a facade-laugh, joke, crap-because i want you to regret the decision you've made. I want to show you how well i can live without you, how well i am better off without you, how much i can laugh my hearts out without you and how much happier i have grown without you by my side. I dont need your jokes to laugh, i dont need your comforts to make me better, and i definitely dont need your hugs to make me feel that only you existed in my world.

Because for one reason, you cheated me more than just once. However, time has healed all wounds and taking away rather much bad memories from me. I have forgiven you, because it's tiring to hate a person. But forgiving doesnt mean forgetting how much hurt you've inflicted in me. I forgive, but i'll never forget. I wont ever initiate to start our friendship afresh again.