to my colleagues:

hey friends, thanks for what you people had tagged in my tag board. but dunch worry people, i'll be fine(: there're times when i feel like quitting because of this. but no, hear me out. I WONT QUIT. i'll be who i am and yes, the confident side of me will eventually overcome that inferiority i have in myself. i need time. allow me to have some time to adapt to what i am now. i believe that my ego is hurt, or should i say, i'm a very egoistic person. so when i know others are overtaking me, i cant take it lying down. i'm sorry to say this because i only learnt that i have a big ego only recently. but it's never too late to realise my weakness, no?(: no worries, i'll be fine soon. trust me on that. & i wont put pressure on myself anymore. i felt that i belong to kitchen more, only being inside kitchen, i can feel that confidence and love for work again. for those paperwork, i know i'll get to learn it anyway. it's a matter of time. i'm always trying to run away from problems. i had the same experience as what i had in the past, when i was young.

i was in a volleyball team. coach made me to be in school team. i was happy but when i was in that team, one of the reason why i gave up half way is because i feel that i've been dragging my team down because of my poor setting of volleyball. spikers couldnt spike well because of me. yes, that low self esteem made me felt so bad that i quit. i quit because i feel that i dunch wanna drag the whole team down anymore. when i grow up, i regretted. i regret for running away. i could have tell myself that i can do it and not choose to run away by quitting that team! i could have consulted coach and asked him to train me more! why didnt i take it that way that i can set well? if i cant set well, coach wouldnt have chose me to be in C' girls. why is it that it's always that low self confidence that pull me down in everything i do? why i cant believe and trust myself more?

and yes, when my brain starts to recall that experience, i felt that it's repeating itself for work again. one side of me told that devil, "are you going to run away from problems by quitting your job like how u quit from volleyball team? are you sure you wanna quit just because they promoted you and because it's just your mindset that puts you down makes you wanna give up? you quit le you can find such a job that can compromise your study schedule marr? why are you always running away? why is it that you're always having such a low confidence? where is your self esteem?"

i thank that side of me. yes, that side of me told me to hang on. i wont quit. i'll start to memorise alot alot of things which i think i cant rmb, eg. the proportions for making the drinks. i'll ask people even if it takes to hurt my ego. i'll make sure that i can live up to that cast leader position they gave me. jiahui, ganbatte! running away wont solve anything. take it as a learning experience for the future. (:

see that smile in me(: i'll act cute again when you people see me! promise! no more emo! i'm optimistic now, dunch worry for me yea?(: