i saw an essay today. it was nice but very drama. But people do say, " a life is like a stage" isnt it? and i agree too. i wonder if it is true or not. hahas. read it if you want. the essay title is, "empty promises". i typed the whole thing in. credits for me please? hahas. oh ya, and it's like so real can. it even wrote about esplande lehh. i think it's true for sure. hahas.

**
If you dunch intend to promise anyone anything, dunch give that person any promises, cause' empty promises really hurts.

Speaking of empty promises, many people made empty promises to me umpteen times till i lost count. Of course, some of the empty promises which hurt me the most had been etched in my mind. In addition, the most vivid one is the one whom i've met online and "toyed" with my feelings. I was being so called "two-timed" by that casanovan.

He is the one i comfort and listened to his sorrows the most. I gave him my time and sacrifice my sleep just to make him feel better. But what did i get in return? HURT. Well, never mind. Though he hurt me, he got himself hurt the most. It's because he kept me in the dark that he have a girlfriend before he knows me, it's the end of our friendship as well as our ambigiuous status. After breaking up with his girfriend and then break the news to me that he had a girlfriend and had a breakup with her, he thought that he can be with me. But look, what i hate the most is being lied by someone, esp in romance. He knows this, yet he did this to me. Finding excuses to defend himself serves no purpose to me at all. He told me that he was afraid that i might leave him and not wanting to be his friend, therefore he kept me in the dark. He told me, that seeing me from getting hurt is the last thing he'll do, cause' he loves me. He said, if i love him, i should forgive him. Now tell me, what kind of excuses are these? So, loving someone means keeping things from someone?

As we quarrelled over such matters, i gave the chance of being together with me to my current boyfriend. Upon knowing this, he was heart-wrenched cause he wants to be with me. He cant blame me, he brought this upon himself. No doubt, i myself know i was being impetuous. Well, at least i know, my current boyfriend isnt a casanovan, and that's good enough.

Few days later, he wanted to meet up with me to give me something that he had bought for me a few weeks ago. Silence was what we had when we saw each other. I had forgave him then, it's no longer hatred, it's just purely upsetting. I still kept a smile on my face to tell him that im alright and there isnt a need to be sad or guilty that he had hurt me so badly. I had a drink on my hand. As we walked all the way from cityhall to the pathway to esplanade, i walked behind him instead of the past, beside him. Both of us sat down. I didnt utter a word and the drink comes in handy. I just drank my stuff and look at the drink instead of him. Everything wasnt the same like how we used to chat non-stop and tickling each other anymore. I was calm, but his face showed a sign of fatigue and his eyes were swollen, a sign that showed he cried the previous day, badly.

I still had feelings for him then. Henceforth, when i saw how haggard he was, i felt something within me. He told me he had cried for days when i asked him why he was so haggard. I didnt say anything, but continue with my drink. The atmosphere started to get tense when we start our quarrels again. All the while i was looking at my drink when answering his questions. My nonchalent manner made him flared up, i believed. He told me he wanted to end contact with me so that he wouldnt get hurt when he saw me. He wanted to end our friendship even how much i've told him that we still can be friends. He was so firm with his decision that i got pissed and told him what's the use of telling me that he wanted to end contact with me when he actually had made up his mind.

I guessed he has been feeling terrible ever since we met up, and i saw his tears brimming when we quarrelled. I suppressed mine. I was bleeding from within more than him, cause i still had feelings for him! He never knows, and never will he get to know. Our conversation came to a point where i totally felt very tired, and i told him that i have to meet my boyfriend soon. He gave up. He took out the soft toy he wanted to give it to me and the very last word he said was, " take care.." Off he get up from where he sat, and watching his back was the most terrible thing. I wanted to stop him, but i know i shouldnt. He is way too lethargic than me and i should just grant his last wish, that is not to let him feel more hurt.

I met up with my boyfriend and hugged him real tight when i saw him. After knowing what had took place, he hugged me more tightly than before. I know the incident created chaos for the 3 of us and the most innocent one is my boyfriend and yet he still tries his very best to lift me up!When i reached home, i took out the soft toy he gave to me from my bag. I saw a black tag hanging together with the toy which i didnt check it out earlier. He actually wrote in black marker ink, " Forget me please. I love you." As i read the words, tears started brimming again.

I then went to check for messages in my cellphone when i heard the vibration. "I really appreciate for what u had done for me. I wont forget how much time u've sacrificed just for me and do forget me, please. I wont pester you anymore. take care, and lastly, i love you." Those are the very last words i got from him, till then, i didnt receive any news from him. I didnt reply him cause i know.. "i shouldnt"..

The hurt is no longer there anymore. It's just purely missing his bits and pieces. Where is all the "i'll lend you my shoulders when you're sad?" and "i'll wipe your tears away when u're tearing"? i guessed it's just empty promises that is never meant to be fulfilled.
**

so nice rite? lol. ehhs clap for me lehh. i type for so long lehh. hahas.