my sore throat's getting worse. feeling more and more feverish. hais. all the better. cuz i felt like a failure. die better.

hais. no one understands what i'm going thru now. i shdnt have choosen this course in the first place jus because ppl say it's fun to be in this course. dunch noe why the hell did i choose this course for. i'm now suffering in the hands of my own. laugh at mi if u wan to. it's jus so saddening seeing urself having such a low grade or cant have the same pace as others. they're fast and catches what the lecturer says. but what about mi? i'm forever slow. i'm forever having my ans blank. this isnt mi. this isnt mi right from the start. hais.

why din i heed others' advice? why din i wanna appeal for interior design as the course for mi to study in?!! why am i such a stupid fucker.why am i so dumb? why am i so insistent to put interior design as my last choice? why am i such an arse? i'm wasting both my parents money as well as wasting my time if i change course now.

sometimes i jus wanna give up. this isnt the course i like AT ALL!! ppl out there were right. we shd choose for what our passion seeks. choose the course tt our passion lies. but why din i listen to them?!! it's too late to regret am i right?

sighs. i'm so damn sad and disappointed in myself cuz of my studies. hais. i cant help gorging myself with biscuits and heaty stuff. i noe it's gonna make mi sick. but why not? all the better. they can at least make mi better. hais. sick bahhs. die bahhs. cuz i'm so lost. i dunch noe what to do wit my life. hais.

i'm jus a sucker. fucking stupid.