People change.

One of the reasons why I got so affected that night after chatting with you is probably due to that look on your face and the way you speak to me. It's the same kind of care I used to get it from you.. but seeing how happy you are with her, I feel happy for you, sincerely.

Things will be fine, Im sure. And im not complaining because God bless me with a guy who is sweet and nice to me altogether.

Sometimes I wonder if I've let go of us. Was scrolling our messages and a surge of unhappiness came gushing within my veins again. I'm not really over you yet, have I? Obviously getting a rebound doesnt suffice filling the gaps in between the bleeding wound.

It feels like Im being stupid and silly again. I'm not making any sense anymore.

Should I have your photos deleted; your messages omitted; your whatsapp vanished so that the wound will never reopen again?

Is it really time yet?

And you are a secret I wont want to let anyone else know.

This attraction is so strong and surreal that I thought it's just impossible, and yes, Im very much aware that you will need to be back home 3 months later, but just let this euphoria stay with me till Im old. 

Im really glad that Fate brought us together and you know what, chubs, I wish work can make you stay in Singapore for as long as time's able to stretch. 

Probably you are just another rebound or I may possibly have fallen in love with you, I dont know, but I dont care because whenever you are around, I feel safe and happy. 

:) 

Been 7 months and I aint getting any better. Yea, how can I possibly be when I dont even wanna help myself?

Stop hoping, because he's not gonna return anymore.

Will this heart-wrenching moments go away?

Nope, never.

Thought a breathing open wound can stop bleeding by itself but that's not true.. Thought given time, the wound will heal.. but that's not true. I let it bleed for 7 months and it's still bleeding. Pathetic.

Seems like the new year resolution I set for myself did make me feel motivated. Everyday when I get up, I know there's something to look forward to, to occupy myself with. And afterall, Im just human. There are times where my insecurities and vulnerability will kick in, but I know how these emotions can be better managed so long as one make internal adjustments in order for one to respond logically instead of being swayed by the emotions and get devoured all the time.

I have many dreams to fulfill this year and I dont wish to remain them as just dreams or having faith without acting on it. Im not sure if Im being too ambitious, but it doesnt hurt to explore and find out what it's in stored for us.

As for relationships, I kinda stop believing in love and frankly speaking, there are other important things pending for completion. I cant simply allow myself to dwell on the past and waste more time on backtracking and stuff. Plus, it's not worth tearing under my blanket while the one Im missing is having a good time with his gf. I feel stronger as the days pass, and I thank God for giving me the strength to continue this path. He took him away from my life for a reason, and yes im struggling to live with it, but I know God has better plans for me.

For now, let's get down to the important stuff.

Not that Im flattering myself but I honestly feel that the philosophies I have of relationships make so much sense when I advice couples who quarrel over being overly-controlled issues. 

But well, sometimes it takes two hands to safeguard the relationship, not just one. And for mine, it broke because I was too stubborn and bothered by being controlled. Oh well, lesson learnt. 

Gotta move on because I have better things to do.